I understand why it is more beneficial to focus on the positive. I agree that thinking negatively only adds to the problem and makes it grow into something worse. I have practiced being grateful for the many things I have in my life which makes the small troubles seem insignificant when compared to the greater whole. I know if you leave sadness unattended it can turn into an extreme emotion since I had the unpleasant experience of wallowing in misery so long that it turned into clinical depression. I can empathize with someone else’s pain while wanting to find solutions in order to ease it. I completely comprehend wanting to stay aligned in the realm of good feelings so as to not become enveloped in the bad ones.
But what is it about the state of feeling sad that many want to eradicate before it even exists? Feeling sad is not a crime nor is it a disease. It is not something to hide and one certainly should not feel ashamed because they feel sad. Sadness need not automatically be thought of as being a bad thing. It’s a natural emotion. When I feel sad, I should not just disregard it by trying to quickly think of something happy to cheer me up. I would not want to. I need to sit with my sadness for awhile so I can understand why it’s there in the first place. Feeling sad is a good indicator that something is amiss and needs one’s attention. And when I’m looking for support, I need someone to listen to me and let me be sad for a bit. I don’t always readily need a solution or an answer to regain my happy state but rather just a kind, supportive, attentive ear.
During the holidays, I feel many wonderful emotions but sadness seems to be more prevalent for me at this time. The holiday season tends to bring some gloomy emotions with it for many others too. Even though I’m grateful for all that I have, I am also saddened by the things in my life that are not yet fulfilled. There in me lies a hole that cannot be filled with what I currently have or am. I do not take this emptiness to mean that I am incomplete, rather that I’m still in progress. These unfulfilled goals and dreams, tug at my heart and let me know how much I wish them to become realized. When my sadness has lifted, my focus then becomes on making sure I do everything I am able to do to make certain that I stay on the path of fulfillment as defined by me. But until the sadness slips away, I am okay with feeling sad because I know happiness is just another feeling away. Emotions are a balancing act and it takes some practice to find the right footing between them.
No one can be happy all the time. If I were happy all the time, I would not truly be living life as an emotional human being. One cannot truly know one emotion without experiencing the other side of it. And as much as I support keeping a positive mindset, I also believe in acknowledging our antagonistic emotions. Being able to keep up a positive outlook on life enables us to retain better resiliency when events pull us down. Create or nurture a state of happiness within which can always be your anchor in times of distress.
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