To Help Me Look Within God Sent Me an Angel

All I saw was a McDonald's bag. I could smell the obnoxious odor of fried beef and fried potatoes; I hated McDonald's food. I transferred this feeling to the person who entered the room because it was his fault that I was feeling like this. He was holding the bag. His name was Jeff. Jeff belongs to an anonymous family of people trying to reach serenity through a power greater than themselves with a vigilant pursuit in spiritual principles to find the best of life. I never saw the person because I had already built a boundary between us. How long did it take? How long does it take to smell? Not long. So, I transferred the feeling of doom to a person I didn't even know. The mind that is undirected in spiritual principles and not accompanied by a higher power responds to everyday life just this way.

On, December 31, 2010, Jeff was found dead on the floor in his bedroom. Now, how do I feel? I pushed him away because of my own prejudice. He was a happy spirit trapped in compulsive behavior that had made his life miserable. He had health problems, self-esteem problems, eating problems, back problems, leg problems, feet problems, and living arrangement problems. He had so many problems that I wondered how he mustered up the strength to attend meetings every day.

He walked with a limp sideways because his shoes were very old and worn which caused him to wobble. He was always carrying a big drink container with an oversized food bag full of goodies he snacked on during the meetings. He wore double-layered clothes and had a pair of gloves. He moved around many times during the meeting, going to the lavatory, getting up to put a used cup or paper in the trash, and sometimes he would just stand up for minutes at a time because his back hurt or he got sleepy.

But in spite of all the movement and all the distractions, Jeff was at every meeting. I remember one day in particular; he got up to go to the lavatory. I was talking during the time and he just stood in front of me like I could read his mind. He suddenly interrupted me and asked for the lavatory key. I became livid, but I handed him the keys. At the end of the meeting I said, "Jeff, don't ever interrupt me when I am talking." The look in his eyes were like big water drops; he felt he had hurt me and was sorry. In that moment I felt as tall as an ant.


Jeff would hug everyone at every meeting. He made his rounds like clock-work. I resented this spirit that he had. I got to the point that I didn't want him to hug me but I allowed him to hug me anyway. I didn't want him to say, "Hi, Brenda." Jeff always said, "Hi Brenda,” and I didn't tell him to stop. I didn't want what he had to give. I am truly a broken person for feeling like I did not deserve his love. I would do anything for a, “Hi” and one of his hugs right now. He was like me, broken and reaching out for love. Too often, I do not realize that the person I resent the most is me for needing other people. I needed Jeff and my higher power made sure I got a chance to meet him. I didn't understand that God sent me an angel so I could look at myself.

The last time I saw Jeff, he came into the meeting with a McDonald's bag. He came in late so I missed his hug that night. I missed his, “Hi.” I noticed he had on new shoes that were green and black. He didn't wobble anymore. He sat down and then he moved to a seat between two other people. He began his usual ritual -- eating chicken, french fires, and yogurt. He had his big drink and his oversized food bag. He had a smile on his face although he was very ill. He showed us how to work a program of love.

I will truly miss Jeff; I didn't know how much I cared for him until now. He never missed a meeting and I loved that about him. There is so much I loved about him and I never told him. But, I think Jeff knew I loved him because he never stopped giving me love. I watched him like a mother watches her own children. Jeff was one of my children. I will miss him. I will always love him.

Looking back on this experience I have learned that we don't pick the people that come into our lives and their presence is no accident. The universe is constantly giving us answers and sometimes we misunderstand the lesson at first, but the universe does not give up teaching us what we need to know or what we need to learn: to be human and share ourselves. Forgiveness is a learned experience that God gives us as a tool. We must first forgive ourselves before we can forgive others. We must love ourselves before we can love others. This is why I must always believe that the answers are right in front of me if I open my heart and listen.

Brenda T. Brown (Ms. B) has published her first poetry book entitled Every Mother’s Daughter. She continues to write, teach, and help others take steps in the direction of their dreams. Visit her website at: www.brendatbrown.webs.com

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An Answer to a Christmas Prayer

Let us remember to help someone during this season. If everyone made an effort to remember to help one person, what a difference this would make in the world. One person serving another impacts life in ways indiscernible to the eye.

Who is on your list? Who needs you?

Listen to your heart and the person who needs you will come to mind.

I was going out to the store yesterday and the person I needed to help came to mind. I called this individual and even though she did not ask for help, I knew that she needed me to extend my hand. What a compliment I received when she said that God had heard her prayer. She told me about her troubles and I had no idea that she was struggling to put food on her table. I went to her home and gave her my gifts of support and love because I was open enough to hear the message from my higher power that she needed help.

I am grateful that I was able to be of service to her and that I was open enough to be guided.

All gifts do not come wrapped up in pretty paper under a tree. The gift of love should be given every day. Look around and you will see that someone needs you right now. Help someone today and the blessings you will receive will uplift your spirit and fulfill your purpose by being of service to someone who needs you. You could be the answer to someone’s prayers.

Remember to extend love, compassion, and kindness to another being each and every day.

Brenda T. Brown (Ms. B) has published her first poetry book entitled Every Mother’s Daughter. She continues to write, teach, and help others take steps in the direction of their dreams. Visit her website at: www.brendatbrown.webs.com

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“Like the body, the soul must also be nourished daily.”

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For the Man Who Hated Christmas

It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past ten years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas--oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it--overspending... the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma---the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.

Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears.

It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat.

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, “I wish just one of them could have won,” he said. “They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.” Mike loved kids - all kids - and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That’s when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition--one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn’t end there.

You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing to take down the envelope.

Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit will always be with us.

By Nancy W. Gavin

This true story was originally published in the December 14, 1982 issue of Woman’s Day magazine. It was the first place winner out of thousands of entries in the magazine’s “My Most Moving Holiday Tradition” contest in which readers were asked to share their favorite holiday tradition and the story behind it. The story inspired a family from Atlanta, Georgia to start The White Envelope Project and Giving101, a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating youth about the importance of giving. To learn more about honoring a loved one through this special tradition, please visit www.Giving101.org/WhiteEnvelopeProject. On the site, you can browse a catalog of unique giving opportunities, create and send your own white envelope gift, purchase charity gift cards, and more.

Thank you for reading! If you have a story/message that you would like to share and it fits into the topics on Always Believe, please email us. Guest Writers are always welcome!

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Giving and Receiving Help

It is never a burden to care for another or be cared for. The one who thinks it to be a burden or feels guilt about being a burden has made an err in judgment. The perspective is askew and the belief is not aligned with the righteous. It is a blessing to comfort and seek comfort. It is a blessing for the one who provides comfort; for the one who provides comfort is steeped in humility. It is a blessing for the one who receives comfort; for he is immersed in grace. The one who is able to give can only do so from a humble heart. He has put aside his own needs to serve the needs of another. The one who has accepted the kindness of another learns that a charitable heart can open the grateful one. Both hearts need each other to continue to grow. They each serve one another in their congruency. No one is greater. They are equal. The acts of giving and receiving are each a blessing.

Spirited Love

Love is fluid. It is everywhere and in everything. Just like a circle, love has no ending and no beginning. Love transcends time, space, body, and mind. Love is an entity of its own and resides closest to the soul. Its power is limitless and its boundaries are none. I am a part of love therefore I am free to give love and receive love. If I try to withhold, distort, or abuse it, it is no longer love; for love cannot be reshaped into something it is not.

Love is always love. I recognize love in others not by looking at their outer appearance or their status in life but by looking within. My spirit connects with their spirit and I know love. By communing with love, I am able to love someone who is no longer with me and I am able to love someone I have yet to meet. Our souls are all connected and in that connection there is love.

Uncommon Kindness

One of my beautiful friends made a comment that got me thinking about the common mindset. Do we as a society really believe that kindness is uncommon? Do we view helping others as more of a burden than a blessing? Susan Gregg, of the Angels on Your Shoulders blog, recently posted two videos about ordinary people doing extraordinary things all in the name of kindness and helping others and I think the common perspective is to immediately assume that these kind acts are rare. With these types of news stories, you always hear the reporter ask, “Why do you do what you do?” as if they are in shock that someone would be so generous. I know when someone is kind to me I don’t ask what their motive is or why they are being so charitable. What is this need to question someone’s good will as if they have some ulterior sinister motive for showing compassion? That makes no sense to me. I have discovered the kindness of strangers has been a real blessing in my life; people are great if you let them be great.

Since generosity isn’t often reported in the news, and when it does it comes across as some special news alert like a hurricane warning, I can understand the perspective that kindness seems to be uncommon. But if you stop and look kindness is actually more prevalent than it seems. Have you noticed the people who are making food for others in your city or the neighbors who are paying someone’s bills? Have you seen the programs where people are remodeling or repairing homes for others? And there are also the people who offer to hold the door open for another or send someone else a friendly smile. Even the smallest of kind acts matter. Have you noticed the kind things you do? A few years ago I was driving down the road and noticed an elderly man with a cane and a grocery bag walking on the side of the road. There was something about the way he was walking which led me to believe he was too tired to continue on his way so I drove down a bit, turned my car around and asked him if he wanted a ride. He gratefully accepted and I took him home. I didn’t expect anything for what I thought was just taking care of my fellow human being however his sincere “thank you” filled my heart with so much joy I felt like I had just won a grand prize. Before stopping, I noticed everyone else just passing him by and it’s not that they were being unkind; it’s just that they didn’t notice. I wholeheartedly believe that stopping and noticing whatever it is that is going on around you is essential in understanding where kindness needs to be spread. Whatever you choose to do next is your choice. What type of world are you choosing to live in?

Upon waking every morning, what if we chose to think about one way to make someone else’s day better; to partake in one random act of kindness? Oh my God, what an unbelievable thing to imagine! How ridiculous! Actually with a little change of perspective, I believe it to be quite believable.

Thank you for taking the time to read this; that was very kind of you! =-)

"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." ~William Penn

Thankful For Not What But Who

That time of year is coming up where it is custom to stop and reflect upon what we are thankful for in our lives. Although I make a habit of continually thinking about what I’m grateful for at the end of each day, I contend celebrating a day of gratitude is better than not doing it at all. A wonderful activity I have done with students is making a Gratitude Tree. Writing what you are thankful for on the leaves and then hanging them up on the tree is a beneficial experience because the process involves reflection, awareness, manifestation, and celebration.

This year has definitely been a rollercoaster, as life is. In the ascension, I’ve experienced much love, joy, and happiness. On the way down, I’ve also experienced many losses, mistakes and heartache. Being grateful for the good seems to be easier than the not so good. In the latter, I have looked at what has not gone well as opportunities to learn and grow and of course to keep believing which only serves to strengthen my faith.

As I continue to develop emotionally and spiritually, my perspective on gratitude changes. Material success is great but money cannot buy everything including happiness. If anything, I believe money should serve you by adding to your already happy state; it should not be the basis for happiness. Although I’m thankful for the material things I have acquired over the year, I am more thankful for the new friendships I’ve made. I’m happy to be reconnected to old friends and for having spent some precious quality time with my family and friends. I’m thankful for time spent with my pets. (My cat actually just passed on a few days ago.) I’m excited about having helped those in need. I’m indebted with the fabulous surprises unexpected people provided me. I’m thrilled about the people I have yet to meet. I believe having all the success in the world is worthless if you have no one to share it with. I look at who is in my life and I feel I have succeeded thus far. So it goes to say, when contemplating my success, I don’t look at what I have in my life, I look at who I have in my life.

Observe and Love

A question was posed to me and it was, "Do you observe more or judge more?" I would have to say that the two go hand in hand for me. First I observe then the judgment automatically comes. Judging is automatic in most people because it has been programmed in the mind to do so. It takes an enormous amount of will to change that programming. I know this because I am trying to do it. I have learned judging serves no real purpose especially when one is judging another human being. It is not my place to be that person's critic. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone goes through difficult times, everyone has a bad day and everyone is just trying to make it on this planet like I am. Don't we judge ourselves enough? It's either I'm too fat, too thin, too tall, too whatever. I believe if we spent less time judging others and ourselves, we would find an abundant amount of love everywhere. So my new motto I tell myself when I find that critical voice trying to hedge her way in is, "I now know that it is far better to observe and love than it is to observe and judge."

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”