I was watching the new reality program, More To Love, on Fox where a plus size bachelor is looking for a plus size woman. I never tune into reality television because it is not "real" and I usually keep the amount of TV I watch to a minimum but the premise of the show was refreshing. It is about embracing who you are, no matter what size you are. This concept is so incredibly difficult to learn and accept. Throughout my teen years and my twenties I struggled with my weight. I went on all kinds of unhealthy diets and did have my bouts of eating disorders during the yo-yo dieting period. I fluctuated from 173 pounds to 115 pounds. I would always get real thin and then I would gain all my weight back. I remember weighing myself in front of the mirror when I was 115 lbs and thought, "This is what 115 looks like. This still isn't good enough." I am 5'3" so in fact 115 was awesome but I was looking at myself in the mirror finding fault in everything and loving nothing. It's true that society, the media, friends, even parents can have a very harmful impact on self-image but the only person I needed to keep feeding my negativity about my body was me. It was a self-defeating, self-hating cycle I had made a habit.
So how do you break that self-destructive cycle? I wish I could say I woke up one morning and had this great epiphany and learned the secret of how to be in love with yourself no matter what but I can't. It was a very gradual process. To start off, I did stop weighing myself. I recommend throwing all scales away! I believe taking the focus off of those numbers is incredibly helpful. That led to me believing that as long as I felt good in my clothes I did not need to know how much I weighed. I started eating different as well; very healthy food, like fruits, veggies, nuts and cut out a lot of meat and sugar. And I started eating three meals a day, something I never used to do; breakfast never used to happen. For the past two years, my weight has been stable. I didn't realize that until I saw a picture of myself a few months back, from two years ago and thought for the first time, "Wow I looked great and I still do!" I have come to a point where I can actually look at my naked self in the mirror and love what I see. It was a long difficult journey but I am thankful I finally arrived at self-love. You always hear you cannot fully love another until you love yourself and I definitely identify with that belief. How can you give love when you don't have it within? I believe that moment when you finally appreciate and love yourself is surreal and you will wonder why it took you so long to get there. Be in love with yourself now! Get to a mirror and kiss your sexy self today.
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