Losing My Job But Not My Dream

by Ms. B


I drove to work as usual and parked the truck I was driving. The principal was at the back door usual I thought to myself but students were outside and we always watch students while they leave the campus for safety. When I got into the building, the principal came in with me and said that she needed to see me in her office. As I sat down in her office, another employee came out of the closet. I was startled but had no knowledge of what was about to take place. The principal told me that they had found papers that were used to help students cheat. I responded, "Are you sure the papers were used for that reason?" Both persons in the office responded yes. The principal asked me to turn in my keys because I was being terminated for misconduct. I guess I was in shock because without any further conversation, I gave them my keys and drove home. It was surreal in the sense that I had worked for this company for four years and had never been accused of misconduct. I settled myself at home but my mind did not comprehend what had just taken place. My husband welcomed me home and was glad I didn't have to work two jobs anymore. I withheld emotion and spent the evening watching television.


The next morning it hit me hard. I had been fired. I had been dismissed from a job I loved participating in, without any investigation or warnings. I became very depressed. Although in my mind I knew it was the best thing for my health and well being, the conduct that was shown to me as a professional was thoughtless, hurtful, and disappointing. My students had always been my priority not my health. I wanted to help students who wanted to better themselves by graduating from high school. My dream was shattered by a decision that I was not privy to. I could not feel sorry for myself but I could feel disappointed with the outcome. I went to my first job and the class assignment was to read The Alchemist. I had never read this book before so it would be a new experience for me that I could share with my students. After reading three chapters, I found something. I discovered that I still had dreams of helping others and doing it by writing. I had begun writing poetry when I was fifteen years old. I never thought about sharing these private experiences I wrote about with anyone. But, this was a new day and a new time. I looked over my manuscripts and picked the poetry that I felt could help someone else if they could read about their feelings. I was on my way but I still didn't know where I was going.


I surfed the internet until I found Publish America. I had been playing publisher’s clearing house on the internet for years so I took the word publish as a sign that I should contact this company. I sent them my manuscript and they accepted it. I was doing something I had only dreamt of doing. If I could write about my experience and help others then this is what I should do. Today, I am very happy that I get a chance to be published. I have not forgotten my students that I left behind. I gave them something and they too have found ways to complete their education. I am very proud of them. I am also proud that I didn't just succumb to depression and resentment because of a decision someone else made. We are not in control of other people and what they do. We are in control of our destiny. Believe me when I say that if this door had not closed, I would not have found another door to the room with the window overlooking the ocean. I am happy now. I get to continue my dreams.

Brenda T. Brown (Ms. B) has published her first poetry book entitled Every Mother’s Daughter. She continues to write, teach, and help others take steps in the direction of their dreams. Visit her website at: www.brendatbrown.webs.com

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Every Mother's Daughter is a book of poems that share experiences of a woman who is a daughter, mother, and grandmother. Brenda Theretha Brown started writing words at fifteen years old. Writing for her made the world less threatening if she could put the joys and pains in a form outside of her mind. To see things clearer it was easy to write down the experiences in her life. Some times joy was all that surrounded her self imposed will but other times the darkness of the day was written in words that could seperate her from death's wishes. Today, the poems are for everyone to read and accept that life is a worthwhile journey and the walls that are constantly before us are just challenges that need to be accepted.

Purchase Every Mother's Daughter from: Publish America

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